Empty Nest – Life after Kids

Yes, it does happen eventually!

Catching up…again. December 8, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — MT Nest @ 7:08 am

That seems to be what life is all about lately. Running full speed, yet never seeming to be able to catch up.

My poor blog. Good thing I don’t write for others.

But in case there’s anyone else out there reading, and for me in the future if I ever need to spark my memory, the past few months have involved…

  • Going back to Haiti with my daughter and husband. HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR. We did a construction team, and it was very different from doing a medical clinic in that with medical you see people once, maybe twice. But in construction, you are working where the family lives and see them day after day. You see how they live, and the difficulties they face. And their life is VERY difficult. No running water, no toilets, no electricity. They cook outside over a small fire. Yet they are so, so joyous and laugh lots. The children loved the texture of mine and Keri’s hair, since it was so different from theirs. They eventually got to the point that they would take off our caps and take down our ponytails and run their fingers through our hair. We were there 8 days, and it seemed like less. Yes it was incredibly hot, and our own living accommodations weren’t what we were used to. We were basically camping – sleeping in tents, no electricity at night and thus no fans – but we acclimated quickly. I’m going back.
  • We also have dealt with the arrest of our daughter. It grieves me to say that. But she made a very foolish choice, and drove after she’d had too much to drink. That was the hardest night of my life, ever. There’s been so many lessons learned in this for her, and I have to say that though I am not proud of her choice to drive after drinking, she has made me proud in the way she is handling the consequences.
  • And, we have met our son’s partner and have even invited him into our home on a number of occasions. I am thankful that Kris has had the sensitivity to not include Mike in our extended family holiday dinners, and I can imagine that this makes it difficult for him and I appreciate his handling of the situation. I have nothing against Mike as a person, and he does seem very genuine and compassionate. But every time I hear something about their life together it is like nails on a chalkboard, and I have to pray that I see Mike as God sees him – as a creation of the Lord’s.

Well, that’s a wrap for now. I’ve been fighting the 11-day virus and I’m wiped out!


The next step August 31, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — MT Nest @ 6:33 pm

Kris came over to talk with us tonight. He told us he and his ‘partner’ (I don’t know what else I can call him) are moving in together.

I had a feeling this was coming. But that doesn’t make it any easier.


Who knew? August 29, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — MT Nest @ 5:30 am

The past several months I have been very depressed. I didn’t realize just how depressed I’d been until I started feeling better. In recent days, I have noticed more energy and that constant black fog is no longer encompassing me. As I look back on the past several months, I can see how immobilized I was by depression.

I still went through my daily life, still got things done – but it was an effort, and there was no joy. Even in Haiti, in the midst of a spiritual renewal, there was still depression.  There was so much hopelessness, and honestly just thoughts of “I don’t want to do this anymore.” No plans, no desire to act on that thought, but it was there.

I hated feeling like that, but no matter how hard I tried I just could not break through that fog.

Recently I had some blood work done for a medical issue, and when it came back my Vitamin D level was low. Not enough that the doctor said anything about it, but I noticed it when going over my labs.

Looked up what it meant – and one of the symptoms of low Vit. D is depression.

So, I started immediately taking a supplement plus getting outside in the sun for at least 15 minutes a day.  After just a couple of weeks, I noticed an improvement in my attitude, in my spirit, in my energy level and thought processes.

Now that I’m working my way through that fog (I know I’m not all the way out of it yet) I can see how thickly wrapped in its tentacles I’d become. People had started asking me frequently if I felt okay. It is scary now, looking back, to see how insidious that fog is, and how it just sneaks up on you until it’s ensnared you in its grasp.

Praying for all those trapped by depression and hopelessness.


Update August 26, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — MT Nest @ 7:26 pm

Life has been crazy lately. No crazier than for anyone else, I’m sure…but crazier than I’ve been able to handle.

I did go to Haiti, and was shocked, saddened, and at the same time uplifted by all that I experienced there. Haitians are a remarkable people. But there is not nearly enough being done to help them. Five months after the earthquake, and there were still buildings falling down into the street and debris everywhere.

And the tents. Oh my word, tents everywhere you looked. And for some, I use the word ‘tents’ loosely. There were tablecloths, sheets, tarps thrown over sticks or rods to hold it up.

This is the rainy season for Haiti. And it is also hurricane season. Having gone through Ike in a strong brick house, I cannot imagine the horror of knowing that a storm is coming with only a tent for shelter.

All that to say – I have been called to go back, taking a team with me to build a house. Sam and Delores, the missionaries we worked with, have developed a plan for building transitional housing. A team of 6 – 8 can build a house for a Haitian family in one week.

And so, that’s what we’re doing. Mark is going with me, and we are blessed to also have our daughter on our team. We leave Sept. 18, and will be coming back Sept. 25.

In between the first Haiti trip and this one, we’ve had a major fund-raiser for the clinic, netting $22,000; my brother has had a heart attack and other severe health problems; my daughter has made a very, very foolish choice that is costing her in more ways than one, consequently costing us; we have flown to Chicago and moved our son and daughter-in-law back to Texas; and I have been asked to speak at several different venues (public speaking is NOT my favorite thing to do!).

In the midst of all this, the enemy has managed to attack me and depression has wound its nasty tentacles into my life.

But I’m fighting.


Going to Haiti! April 22, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — MT Nest @ 7:54 am

Yep! I’m going to Haiti. When I was 18, dating the man I married, going to nursing school, and having worked in 2 mission trips to Mexico, I wanted to go to a foreign country and serve my Lord as a missionary nurse.

That didn’t happen. We got married, I graduated from nursing school, and the Lord took my life in a different direction. We started our family, and God just didn’t call us to serve overseas. He didn’t even call me to practice nursing.

Thirty-four years later, the dream is now becoming a reality.

ONE DAY after I applied for my passport ‘just to have one’, I got a phone call that someone I know was going to Haiti. I made a comment about wanting to go. Not really meaning it, not thinking “I want to do this.”  The next day, he called me back and said they needed someone else for the trip. In less than 5 minutes, Mark and I talked it over and I said I’d go.

Remember, at that point I had applied for my passport just a few days prior. I was told passport processing was a 4-6 week process. The trip was in 8 weeks.

Two weeks from the day I applied, I had my passport in my hand.

If that wasn’t God confirming that I am meant to go on this trip, I don’t know what it is.


Dipping my toe back in the blogging pool February 23, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — MT Nest @ 10:16 pm

Trying my hand at answering Linda’s meme.

1.Have you ever fired a gun or shot a bow and arrow?
I’ve shot a ‘real’ gun only once. I have a BB gun I use to run off the occasional animal. (We live in the country.) I’ve only shot a play bow and arrow, and that was a long long time ago.
2. Do you know where your childhood best friends are?
I had 2 ‘best friends’ growing up.  My best friend from my elementary years has passed away. My best friend from high school is now living in Lesotho, a country surrounded by South Africa.
3. Do you usually arrive early, late, or on time?
Early. Our music pastor says it best….”Early is on time, and on time is late.”

4. Are you more of a New York or California type?
Are you asking if I’m uptight or laid back? I’m more middle country.

5. Do you have a special ring tone?
I just set Brandon Heath’s “Give Me Your Eyes” as my ringtone. That song has special meaning to me. I run a non-profit dental clinic, and that is my prayer every day before we see patients. That I will see the patients through God’s eyes and love them with His heart.

6. What is your favorite type of chip?
Poker. Just kidding. I’m Baptist. :)  I think my all-time fav is BBQ although my current fav – and I try to stay far, far away – is Salt and Black Pepper.

7. Best comedy you’ve ever seen is ….
Questions like this stress me out. I don’t remember movies 30 minutes after I’ve seen them. So I don’t know.

8. Have you ever cut your own hair? To quote Dr. Phil, “How’d that work for ya?”
Why yes I have. If you count bangs. But that’s it.

9. If you were going to have an extreme makeover, would you rather it be about your house or your personal self?
Right now it would be my house.  I’m pretty satisfied with how I look. Right now.

10. Are you allergic to anything?
Yes. Dust, mold, mildew. I take allergy shots. And drugs.

11. Why is it so hard to change?
Shall I get on my soapbox? Change is hard because it’s not comfortable. It’s new. We – humans – are lazy. We want the easy way out, and anything having to do with change is NOT the easy way. Okay, I’ll get off now.

12. One last question dedicated to February love: CS Lewis said, “To love is to be vulnerable.” Please share one example of that assertion or share any thought you’d like to about this topic.
Hmmm….this could get very personal and very long.  Anyone who loves, who opens their heart, is vulnerable. You can’t love without being vulnerable. You just can’t.


Insight December 3, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — MT Nest @ 8:17 am

Last night Mark was riled up about the war, and the President’s recent decision to continue sending troops. He thinks this is a war that is not ‘win-able’.  I honestly had not come to my own conclusion about it, and it stresses me out to think that there’s one more thing I should be knowledgable about. I felt completely overwhelmed for some reason.

Anyway, this morning I woke up with a clearer head, and have to say I agree with him.

But that doesn’t mean I do not support our troops and the men/women called to serve our nation.

Just yesterday, I watched with pride and sorrow as hundreds and hundreds of people lined the streets of our town to honor one soldier coming home to be buried. A little over a year ago, our daughter-in-law’s best friend lost her husband in the war.

I fully and completely support, pray for, and commend our soldiers.

Yet I cannot agree with continuing this war. I do not think we should send more people over there to fight.

And it’s the same way with my son. The son who says he is a homosexual, and pursuing a lifestyle I cannot agree with.

I love our soldiers, I do not love the war.

I love my son, I do not love his lifestyle.