I am not going to presume to know what is or has gone through my son’s mind concerning his homosexuality. I am sure that he has been tormented about this, because he was not raised to believe that it is “OK.” It’s not as if he just decided one day that he was going to be gay, and everyone was going to be fine with his decision. I am sure he knew that making this lifestyle choice was going to hurt and disappoint a lot of people – including his brother and sister.
Kris told my husband and I that he was gay a few months ago.
But he did not tell his brother and sister, nor anyone else in our family.
To me, it seemed almost as if he was embarrassed about it. And if embarrassment is there, I firmly believe it is God working on him.
We…Mark and I…respected his decision to tell his brother and sister in his own time. I think that we were both holding on to the hope that God would convict him of his wrong choice.
What we didn’t realize was that our politically active son, as president of the 4th largest city in the nation’s GLBT caucus – would be interviewed on the news a few weeks ago. And that someone our middle child knew would “facebook” him and comment about his brother being on the news that night. It was very obvious from the interview that my son was living a homosexual lifestyle.
It was a horrible way for our middle child to find out about his brother. We gave Kris a little while to tell his sister, but when he did not contact her, we told her. We just could not risk her finding out from one of her many friends who still live in the area.
She was hurt and angry that he did not talk to her about his homosexuality before going public…very public…with it. Up until Friday before our weekend together, he still had not called her and she had no qualms about letting him know how angry she was.
I was not looking forward to our time together, knowing that a confrontation was coming.
But he called her Friday. And I was so very proud of her. She told me that she had wanted an apology, that he gave her one and told her it was inconsiderate of him. She said she forgave him, and she knows holding a grudge is only going to hurt her.
I was also proud of him for admitting his insensitivity, and saying he was sorry for the way he handled it.
And it was so, so wonderful to see them talking and laughing together over the weekend. I had prayed for healing in their relationship, and that prayer was answered.
April 21, 2009 at 7:46 am |
So glad to read that part worked out. Our oldest is keeping something from one of our sons and we are very upset about it. Our son-in-law is keeping the same thing from his oldest brother. His mother is very upset about it. We have toyed with the idea of telling our son, but decided not to say anything. He is going to be hurt when he finds out, and we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
April 23, 2009 at 6:43 am |
I am thankful that the kids worked it out.
Keep praying. God hears our pleas.
Love
Donna